Topcats Taunts: Duck..Its December Douchebaggery Delights..

Chaps and Chapettes...

I know I know.. it often is held back from the religious truth of the great big world.. Its that FRICKEN time.. Yea boi.. Time for December.. if you are in the Southern hemisphere, then WHOO HOOO.. we are enjoying the fruits of summer, beach, swimming, braai's shirts and lots of TSHIRT time.. ha ha ha... Ah the sweet goodness of all the Christmas parties all the drunken fun.. (dont drink and drive.. trust me.. the inside of a cell is not kiff.. )

Jackie before the shitstorm..

Too late now pal..Trying to pull a Shabir Shaik

Speaking of cells, i wonder how Jackie Selebi's cell must feel right about now.. ha ha ha.. Shame dude, i was there like a week ago and it was as pleasant as removing warts with a razor... Nice huh.. I cant imagine being this guy right now, well i sorta can, one day being the king of your life, living a luxurious awesome life..followed by a smooth transititon to a FULL blown criminal about to embark on a 15 year journey, that my friends is the bottom of the barrel.. Some advice for you people around the world who have never had an idea of what the inside of a cell in certain countries is like. For instance most likely anywhere in Africa/South America and Asia you can pretty be guaranteed to be dealing with some hardcore criminals who want nothing but plunder your sanity and human crevices.. Be afraid, especially if you are going into a prison where some of the inmates you put there, some falsely to cover your crimes, and others who you felt weren't good enough to pay for their freedom.. Its not looking good old man,..

So in line with what stupid criminals get up to(see above) there is another incident that caught my attention today that just made sit back and fricken laugh.. I reckon the reason people do crime(petty crime) is because some of them are slightly the DUMBEST freaking idiots on the planet. If you or me started crime, shit would be in total anarchy.. WE would have this on lock down, hence we are educated and therefore pursuing (or least some of us, Femi you are like Chandler from Friends, no one knows what the fuck you do).. Bank bull.. Any way, so this stupid guy in the States Anthony Miranda, the guy in the picture, learned that lesson the hard way over the weekend when he tried to rob the wrong guy.

The incident took place in Chicago. The fighter in question is only known as “Justin”, and hails from Romania. He did not want to be photographed in any way by the media. On Friday he was waiting in his parked car for a buddy to arrive. Miranda originally approached him and asked if he could have a light for a cigarette. Justin replied that he does not smoke. That’s when Miranda pulled out a gun and shoved it against the side of his head, Justin said:

"He asked me for my wallet, for my phone and my keys. I told him I don’t have a wallet, I only have cash. He cursed me. I handed over $30, but he was not satisfied. At that moment, he backs up the gun and he racks it. The gun jammed. He racked it a second time. He ejected the bullet on the ground. He went down and grabbed the bullet and said, ‘Look, motherfucker, it’s a hollow point. I’ll blow your brains out.’ That’s when he ordered me out of the car. I wasn’t scared because I’m trained. I then performed the maneuver that disarmed my attacker. The round went off, and he shot himself in the foot. I put him down to the ground. He was fighting. He didn’t want to give up. But eventually he was begging me to let him go. He said he has a baby"

For those not aware.. Its COP17 (UN climate conference) and usually the developing nations get shafted by the developed nations who don't want to reduce emissions and all that shit as it will hamper production and therefore economy bla bla bla.. So basically.. they want "us" developing nations, to cut back, the % on their behalf, basically in a nutshell and skipping unimportant notions.. So in Durban where they are, while they flit and flat about bullshitting around what HAS to be done, I realised in a few years this COP17 kak they are talking about will be the most important conference in the world because its going to be only hope that people will have, finding solutions we should thought about yesterday... (a little doom and gloom for you.. ) #truestory

Deadmau5

Wave poool dance floor = bikini+Killamusic+mates=F*cking A..

Omg.. so this past Sat we had dead mouse in our midst.. lol.. YES Deadmau5(prounced Deadmouse) which by the way, some of you oaks are severe retards Dead (Ma)(5) is what you been saying.. Fuck me i had to laugh.. It was funny, most of those fuckers did not know who Deadmau5 was until there was hype around the concert, then you saw massive MASSIVE oaks suddenly being the biggest fans( i had to go and look at a couple of Youtube vids to remember).. lol.. but i was a FAT fricken concert(well the one in Joburg( we had a whole Saturday of sun, music and fricken epic tequilas!!) H2o I'm sure def was sick, I'm sure the one at the wave house must've been awesome as well.. NOT.. ha ha ha..

Face real.. Body... not.. Do you believe that.. ?

I love advertising and marketing.. Its actually the greatest career to be in.. WHY? well you get to use your grey matter in ways that entertain others, as well as manipulate and lie, somehting most males are fricken awesome at.. So when someone gets smart about the way a shoot should go.. Then there is an outcry about what its doing the youth.. Well i was a youth once and i grew up Rambo, wrestling and Teenage Ninja Turtles, you don't see me screaming "COWABUNGA" and slicing throats.. OR you don't see me going to the gym injecting roids and running around in my underwear with my tiny penis and hating the world..(well sometimes...) but i mean come on.. The world has def gotten tooo serious! H&M Uses Fake Bodies With Real Models’ Heads - All that griping about how models’ slender proportions are completely unrealistic? Turns out they are literally unrealistic — as in, they are totally fake. H&M has been sticking real models’ heads on computer-generated bodies, reveals Swedish tabloid Aftonbladet. [huffpo]

I mean, these days you can't do anything without upsetting someone.. For instance yesterday I was casually strolling through Sandton City(big ass mall) swinging me keys around, when someone stopped me and asked me to stop swinging me keys around it could take out an eye.. I laughed and asked if she was being serious, she said yes.. I laughed a LOT..again.. she looked like she was getting mad at my reaction, so i laughed again and pointed.. She thought about it, and decided to keep on walking, that's right Sandton Mom, watch out.. ha ha ha.. some folks.. Some Christians Are Angry With Johnny Depp - If some Christian groups get their way, Johnny Depp will end up with a lump of coal in his stocking this Christmas. The “Pirates of the Caribbean” star has enraged at least two religious organizations by contributing vocals to the song “Jesus Stag Night Club” by the British band Babybird. [reuters]

What you gotta love about Golf.. loads of holes!

Its about time that multitalented pimp get back on his horse, if Rooney could do it... Then def the old man can. Obviously the scandal took its toll on our boi.. TWO YEARS!! Tiger Woods won his first golf tournament in two years Sunday when he sank a birdie putt on the 18th hole to edge Zach Johnson by one shot and capture the Chevron World Challenge at Sherwood Country Club in Thousand Oaks. Woods finished at 10 under par to win his own tournament, which benefits Woods’ charitable foundation. [latimes]

Gary's kid.. ha ha ha ha

Well i was starting believe that Facebook couldn't continue for ever at the rate of awesome.. I mean, lately all the changes, all the different things have led me to believe Facebook is up to something.. a drastic change, email, random junk on your page..I mean the usual addicts have calmed down..a(The voodoo_warchief)The Beginning Of The End For Facebook? - Rightly or wrongly, what’s caused me to start to evaluate whether Facebook has peaked is my own declining use of the site. I find myself using it less and less each day, sometimes going days or weeks without checking it. Interestingly, I have also observed that many in my network are posting less often. What may be happening is that consumers are experiencing Facebook fatigue. [time]

Nothing says December..than WTF?

Speaking of outdated media, here are Twitters biggest stories this year:

1.Online activist and protest organiser, Wael Ghonim, who said: “If you want to liberate a government, give them the Internet.”

2. Live tweeting of the raid on Osama bin Laden’s compound by Shohaib Athar.

3. Daniel Morales’ use of Twitter to reunite with his daughter after 11 years.

4. NBA star Kevin Durant’s use of Twitter to organise an impromptu game of flag-football with his followers.

5. A group of Londoners using Twitter to organise clean-up efforts after the UK riots in August.

6. The world’s reaction to the earthquake in Japan.

7. Julia Probst, a deaf German football fan who reads the lips of players and coaches during matches and tweets what they’re saying.

8. Stefanie Gordon’s chance encounter with the Space Shuttle Endeavour.

9. TV news anchor Okan Bayulgen’s use of Twitter to save two people trapped in rubble from the earthquake in Turkey.

10. Peter Shankman, who asked for a steak dinner from Morton’s, only to be greeted with one at his airport arrivals gate

If you find yourself bored on the 10th of December.. don't worry.. EL Clasico is on its way.. this year appears to be one for richer club of Madrid.. Well so far.. but we know what Barcelona are like when they are in the mood.. and usually its every big game.. #justsaying..

Ahhh.. United, doing what we do best, keeping in touch, getting ready for the almighty turn of the season when men become boys and champions are revealed.. It has certainly been an up and down season so far for Manchester United, and don't worry fellow members.. Our time is coming, the blue half of Manchester is filled with pundits already stating the champions are here.. well they are.. sorta.. and we will continue... #MUFC

December madness.. Love it..

I used to love these all you can eat buffets.. I mean so what about gluttony and cholesterol, i mean, lets go get some sushi followed by a bacon,cheese and gherkin sandwich and wash it down with some all you drink soda and waffle with ice cream and chocolate sauce. lol.. the Golden Correel, good fricken times.. Britain’s Biggest Restaurant Opens In Bristol - The biggest restaurant in the UK opened its doors this week with a capacity of feeding a small army of 2,100 diners a night. Bristol’s harbor side restaurant Za Za Bazaar spans 30,000 square feet (2,790 square meters) and two floors, and serves up an all-you-can-eat buffet that includes Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Italian and traditional British fare. [luxuo]

Pictures that shocked the world in 2011: