Friday's Fruity Fantasitical Foolery



This is how we feel at the end of the week!



This is how Friday feels..

Morning,

Transfer deadline, stupid protesters, and SPRING followed by the SPRINGBOKS heading to the great World Cup.. Oooooo weeeeee, it looks like one of those weeks!

Cocaine sprinkled biscuits..

Authorities and funeral goers were surprised to find out that instead of icing sugar, the biscuits had cocaine toppings sprinkled all over them.According to a witness who complained to the funeral home, crazy scenes unfolded during the ceremony:The elderly bystanders, instead of mourning, began to dance around the dead, and the tears turned to nervous laughter. The cognac was consumed in shots accompanied by the sound of happy toasts, and there were some who started ordering mojito cocktails.The climax came at the time of transporting the body to the burial site, where the two elder brothers of the deceased raced along the procession, with their wives whistling and shouting encouraging slogans. Greek authorities quickly traced the biscuits back to the bakery from which they came and established that one of the workers in the confectionery, a Bulgarian national, is member of an organised criminal group dealing with drug trafficking.. Ah of course he was Bulgarian..ha ha.. Can you imagine a cocaine filled plate of treats at a funeral! Feck, if it was anything like some of the funerals i have attended, oaks wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.. Although it must've made a very interesting next day.. "what happened? Were we really dancing with the corpse?" HECTIC..

My farm is kiff..

Black Farmers Selling Farms Back To Previous White Owners – South Africa’s minister of land reform says black farmers have resold nearly 30 percent of the white farmland bought for them by the government – often back to the previous white owners. Minister Gugile Nkwinti announced the startling indicator of failure at Wednesday’s launch of a long-delayed government policy paper to revitalize land distribution plans. [forbes]  So oaks have had enough of farming after 10 years huh? This is what happens when proper handling of land redistribution is not done, you give farms to oaks who assume the farm will make moeny the same it did before.. They don't realise it is harder than it seems, hard sweat and farming mentality.. IT's not a get rich quick thing...Ah, now you selling it back huh... Mmm.. Mugabe sound familiar?

Protesters to proposed Bill..looks fun hey?!

ANCYL members attacking journalists..

ANC Won’t Allow Public Interest Defence – Journalists will face up to 10 years in prison under new secrecy laws if they publish classified information without first asking the government to declassify it. The ANC told parliament’s committee debating the Protection of Information Bill yesterday that it would not allow a “public-interest defence” to be written into the bill as that would place journalists in a class of their own. [timeslive] I have been following this issue quite closely.. IT would be a grave day if this bill is passed, some of the shit being said and wanted by the ANC is beyond WTF! I mean, basically if you expose corruption through attaining documents that would otherwise expose the corruption and you don't have permission to see those, you are going to Poolsmoor for being a journalist.. Hectic, basically even if its illegal and want to expose it for the good of the people of this land, you are in a nice way, F*cked.. Yes.. JAILTIME..

I was smoked by my charna's

Tupac’s Homies Reckon They Smoked His Ashes – Apparently members of Tupac Shakur‘s old group, The Outlawz, smoked the cremated ashes of their fallen hero after his funeral. Yes, we are shocked by this news, as well. One of the members confirmed to VLADTV that they did, indeed, puff-puff and pass a marijuana joint filled with 2Pac’s remains in memory of the late rapper’s song ‘Black Jesus,’ in which he requested that his ashes be smoked after his death. [popcrush] Fricken killaness, oaks smoked their mate.. Understandable i guess if you are a stoner, have no problem ingesting human flesh into your lungs, than ya... Good idea.. OKay so he said in a song, smoke my ashes, he was high as a kite when he wrote that, and prob was thinking, "shit they actually smoking me?? Retards" Here's to you PAC, puff puff pass..

Steven Segal Accused Of Killing Puppy And Raiding House With A Tank - Jesus Llovera, a man Steven and his Maricopa County Sherriff’s Department pals thought was running an illegal cockfighting ring on his property, has threatened to sue the Half-Past Dead star for raiding his house with a tank before euthanizing 100 of his roosters and his 11-month old puppy. I’m going to leave it at that. Click the link to find out more. [holymoly] Ha ha ha.. So Arnold Schwarzenegger became a Governor, he became a cop and did some crazy.. "yea so what, we did that in Under Siege II asshole" kinda of stuff.. ha ha.. Imagine this oak worked in Joburg, he would sort the shit out quicker than you can say Nigerians!! ha ha..

Welbeck and Rooney.. The dream continues

The team i love... Is also the club that is prob financing through interest alone a bankers retirement fund! ha ha.. The club, owned by the American Glazer family, posted a record operating profit of 110.9 million pounds (R1.25-billion) in the financial year ending June 30. Results released Thursday showed that commercial income soared by 27% to 103.4 million pounds (R1.17-billion). But half of that income was paid to banks to meet interest costs of 51.2 million pounds (R581-million).

The real reason we are seeing the toppling of dictators, to GET OIL DUH!! The Fight For Libya Oil Begins – World leaders gathered in Paris to show united support for the rebels who toppled Col. Moammar Gadhafiol. Moammar Gadhafi and to discuss how best they can help rebuild the North African country, but a rift emerged over who should get first access to Libya’s oil and natural gas riches. Col. Gadhafi, however, issued a reminder from hiding Thursday that the fight wasn’t over yet. He said tribes loyal to him were armed and preparing for battle. [wallstreetjournal] Ha.. Wait until BP get in there, and then the Americans, and then.. the next country... what..? Syria you said.. "move out boys"

Finally i can sail around the world again. I was getting fricken worried at whether it was possible with all the fricken PIRATES around.. Lol.. now.. a GIANT FRICKEN LASER shall help us accomplish a safe journey. Laser Machine Gun Will Be Tested On Pirate Ships – Two defense giants, Boeing and BAE Systems, announced late last month that they would team up on a $2.8 million Navy contract for a prototype version of BAE’s Mk-38 25-mm machine gun with a little upgrade: a death ray. As the companies excitedly explained, the new gun would protect surface ships from pretty much everything, from enemy boats to small drones. [wired] I wonder Dr Evil thought about the practicality of his invention.. Hmmm.. Watch this space, soon in South Africa, cars mounted with lasers to get rid of hi-jackers.. Genius!!



Happiness is..



Germany Unveils The Prostitution Tax Meter – Prostitution is legal in Germany. It’s also taxable. While it’s fairly easy to collect a “sex tax” from brothels, “sauna clubs,” and other sex purveying establishments, it’s trickier to make sure freelance streetwalkers pay up. The city of Bonn has a solution: An automated street meter where prostitutes pay a nightly fee to ply their trade. [theweek] Ah finally the ability to claim back from all those late night "happy ending visits".. Oh yea, ze germans.. have more than i expected in terms of sense.. lol..

Here comes the BOOM!

Come on BOKKIE!

Springboks Chase R50m – It’s the big Bok secret, but The Times understands that the 47 players and staff who make up South Africa’s team to the Rugby World Cup stand to win a total of R54-million in bonuses if they successfully defend the Webb Ellis trophy over the next two months. That figure is based on what the team’s support staff stands to earn at the tournament in New Zealand – if the Boks win the final on October 23. [timeslive]

Don't F with me boys..