Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Absence Makes the Heart Fonder of F*ckery

Why Hello.. 
It has been a LONG return.... Much of other thoughts have been put into different threads so I apologize for the absence of Top Cats Taunts.. I am.. the taunted..  It was simply life, took hold, took turns, got caught in the cycle of creating memories while not remembering them, or being told of them. Not in a rehab type way just in way you look back fondly, remembering them. 


Hipster glasses and lube..
Hipsters on Hipster Crime
Derek Watts and the Sunday Blues is all the talk in the halls.. I for one, understand both ends of the pendulum. The desire to create relevant content, that borders on a lot of individual freedoms that one hopes we can express in a post-AP society. Some oaks are mad, and disgusted. Some, think, "ja that is bad but it is funny as well". There are those that agree, those man buns gots' to go! I just think this hipster on hipster crime is taking a lot of spotlight away Putin. Do you know what Putin did today?

The apology vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaN1Bgo-A1c


You got to be tough for the army.. 

Joining the Army
Imagine a world filled with the continuance of absolute stupid ignorance and perceptuance of a better macro-management style in the form of governance whether it is religious based or not.. That to me is where we are now.. Running along a pit wall, one side, gravy, awesome, bright, instagrammable, molly, jamming, love. The other side is the opposite, dry, grayscale, death, beheadings, no care for life, fast, faster, bombs, politicians and broken promises. 

So... It is what is take a second, choose a side and keep going seems like the only way to get things done here. 


It got me thinking after reading an article in News24 about the family from PE that has gone to join ISIS. Two of the daughters were married and left their husbands behind and kicked it with their families first through Turkey and then on to Syria.  I always knew that Uitenhage would be the first port of call for ISIS in SA.. Fok. We are in kak, especially with our ridiculously awesome borders security. Mark my words we will revisit this, especially if there is a ISIS cell found here in SA.. 







How to be VIP without the V
So there was this one time, when I didn't plan ahead, I did not get tickets and tickets were sold out. I was like, nah there will be tickets, BUT no, there were none. So i went any way(to the venue at least). With the hope of getting in somehow, bribing, sneaking, whatever.. I arrived, early enough to be a lot of people around. I tried to firstly, bribe the bouncers, they did not see the funniness in my attempt. Next I attempted to utilise a broken wristband I found on the floor. My creative attempts lacked anything close to realistic, or believable, none-the-less I rushed forward, anxious to join my mates who were downing beer and eyeing candy.. The bouncer, shook my hand so violently the wristband denigrated into something resembling a matric dance dress  looks like when you undress your date ..In your mind, when you're 18 and putting on your tie before the dance.. So, i was screwed, feeling incredibly embarrassed and silly, I was resound to heading home. BIG L on my forward and carrot in my bum. That was until I noticed my friend, a  specific right-foot Phil Rogers(his right foot is hammer of a 1000s diabetic dragons spewing toxic no sugar fire), jumping over the fence and scattling into the party. I also quickly noticed, all the bouncers ears quickly get some intel and start running  of in the direction of Phil, who thought it was game time.  THIS was my opportunity, seeing all the bouncers are distracted, i hastily pulled of a half parkour illegal immigrant type desperation flip move over a fence keeping you from freedom. As I landed, (right into the males bathroom area, i slipped into  a stall and turned my shirt inside out( I thought that might help).. I proceeded to enjoy the day like a legend and skipped out on paying the cover charge of which was a R100.. So was it worth it.. Yes. 
Check out this dude getting into Ultra in a similar way:

We Heart It




You know when people State the Obvious? "New research published in Scientific Reports used a margin of exposure comparison – a ratio of the level at which the substance has negative effects compared to average human intake of it – to compare the level of danger associated with substances ranging from alcohol to ecstasy.The team found, relative to substances similarly used, the THC in marijuana is extremely low risk, especially when compared to alcohol.
By the team’s (and the Washington Post’s) calculations, in fact, weed is about 114 times less likely to kill you than tequila.However, it’s important to note the study considers only the drugs’ risks of mortality, not a once-a-week glass of wine."(Elite Daily)
So basically, as it is well known by all those who do not have a fragmented reality of facts and fiction and are not 100 years old and most likely racist, weed is MUCH better for you than Alcohol. Alas we shall continue to posion the crops in the Transkei, which fuel a small network economy of consisting of farmers, who buy goods from the local vendors, who in turn feed their families and provide jobs. Nah, fuck em, let's focus on the easy targets with a disgusting poisinonous pesticide, cost the taxpayer more futile randelas and keep on flying those helicopters of green death.. 
"Tis nearly the time for the Great show to return.. the one where nonone is safe and anyone can die.. Games of Thrones you muppests! A few more weeks, and I can realistically ask on Tinder dates if they Game of Throners and if so, can we move this to my house for the second season reruns?



In the art of it being the middle of the week. The honey section:



Auz Power
Does anyone else think that usually the Aussi's are the one who always take that one thing overboard.. Just take it over the step..every time.. Lol. Well there is this wicked Beavis and Butthead type cartoon from that side of the pond down under.. It is hilarious.. It's called Damo and Darren, it will make you crack faster than dry skin in cold weather.. Check it out:

Bafana Guys Aging Not In the Best Way
So two ex SA Footfootball captains are in hospital recovering from various ailments. Neil Tovey has suffered 3 heart attacks(one prior to being to hospitalized). He is recovering in a Durban Private Hospital. A friend posted something on FB stating this is the continuance of Apartheid,(black guy in a public hospital and white in a private).. I read into this, and had to tell this individual to shut the FRONT door. Picking an argument for the sake of trying to stir the black/white debate. He is a African dude, and I took offense to him slating such bull on a public forum, continuing to fuel the fire of the debate that we should forgive and forget/we are harbouring issues. When people say stupid and senseless things such as this, ofcourse we can all riducle the idiot, but there other instances when it can still be true(history blah blah.. See article-----> from Mail and Guardian http://mg.co.za/article/2015-02-23-six-things-white-people-have-that-black-people-dont

Finance
Budget allowances for this fiscal year was announced by the Finance Minister Nene
The breakdown in spending for the 2015/16 financial was:
- R191.1bn for basic education;(my sphincter that will get utilised)
- R26.2bn for university transfers; (to transfer to where muda bitch??)
- R25.3bn for skills development and adult education; (How does one apply/ROI?)
- R13.1bn for education administration; and, (Over 10 billion on mother trucking admin? No man suck a D)
- R10bn for the National Student Financial Aid Scheme (NSFAS).(only.. 10 Billion... come on oaks.. ;ets get everyone to school.. )
IF we actually used the budget in a way that was efficient and effective could seriously begin to change the youth of the country perception about what happens after school. Right now,  the youth see party alliance and commaradrie as the only way to ensure you a get a slice of the pie.. Time to change that.. 

If you are sitting at your desk, thinking what your purpose is.. You won't figure it from there.. Maybe this vid will help:


Taunted. (out of sync but give  me a little time to get back into the groove)..