Tarnished Taunts Tactically

Good Day Fair Chaps and Chapettes..

Flip it has been ages since I last put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) and spoke to you about what has been rambling, sorting, mashed, messed and ground around my brain.  I mean so much has happened since our last conversation i feel like a frat boy trying to convince you of the good times that were had, and the not so good times that were had..

I know some people in the Vodacom retail dept who are like this. #Alistair

Firstly, I was pacing around the book store a couple of months ago and decided to treat some family and friends to copies of THAT book.. Which one? The one with the Shades.. THe Gray Shade.. lol.. Now, that book has sold more copies than fricken 'Arry Potter, that is ridonculus..I mean not only are women being enthralled and feed literary porn, they are raising their expectations of what should expect in the bedroom from their partners. Lol.. and For some reason, women who have never had a someone who lights their fire,  have realized that they are missing out and missing out on the good times..SO many have had to raise their game.. Lol.. a discussion I had last night with a focus group(drunken dudes at McDonalds) was that they are having to do somethings that are edgy in the bedroom with their ladies.. Stuff that makes them blink their eyes twice at having to be asked to.. "put that WHERE?"

Gypsies being relocated.. #NOTcooltobeagypsies

So there I was thinking maybe I should head over to France for the last bit of summer and enjoy everything it has to offer, go camping, hangin out, sing songs, dance, go to festivals and so forth.. Then.. NOOOOO.. the goverment has gone Greek and decided to get rid of all the gypies.. I mean, how can you get rid of gypsies? They are the moral fabric of society, they arre where you don't want to go so you study hard.. Or they are exactly where you go when you have A0 killed someone B) can't work for the man anymore C)hate civil society.. lol.. #gypsies

Can you SAY JAMICA BOSS

Sooo.. the Olympics huh?!! Ha ha ha.. Okay okay, USain Bolt, youa re the fastest.. I get that.. BUT is anyone else thinking that he is for DEF not the greatest fricken athlete in history.. I eman  sure he won gold at the olympics in 2 events twice(maybe thrice after relay final) but, to CLAIM you are the best, and you havent even got to Carl Lewis medal record of 9 in track and field.. IS in my opinion unheard of. Yes he knows how to market himself as an entertainer, brand ambassordor and all around shirt salesman of NOTE..his achievements on the track are SICK, don't get me wrong.. But his showmanship is something else!
By the way.. the beach volley ball was cool.. not.. it was SICK.. I think we should be hosting some of these events in SA.. (beach volley ball) good sport for the youth to get involved with!

Running with a  broken Leg

The image above is the USA relay team in the second change over, the dude running in the shades has a broken leg and it just broke.. Yet he continued running! GEES

Its not beach Volleyball.. BUT goodness.. KP sucks balls tho.

SOOOO SA are winning the series 1-0 with one test left.. The story here isn't about  SA cricket side.. BUT rather the same clowns who import all of their players.. EG England, so there has been some bull today about KP (Kevin Peterson, born and bred in Durban) who has decided the saffas are actually better chaps to talk to then the English players. Ha ha ha.. His captain Strauss is bummed his key player is not focusing on the task at hand, but rather saying "whats up dude" and not "grrrrrr" or something similar.. So KP has been texting AB and Dale Steyn(both players he is former or current teammates in the IPL.. WHat is the big deal? I mean, hey he is my friend so I can't text him? What are we 5? I mean imagine if USAIN BOLT(notice capitals) didn't talk to Yohan Blake or another one of his close competitors? WE would call him a douche.. Or rather i would.. So Straussie.. Easy the F up..


There I was an innocent high school student, doing what I do best. Jamming with friends, sports, chasing girls.. The usual.. There were one or two boys who had the legend status for having bed teachers, stooges(university students helping out) and anyone not a student during my time.. We used to think, HOLY SHIT that guy is a boss! Sooo when i came across this interesting read where not one but two teachers at a school in (of course) the States had been playing around, rubbing two backs with one stone, hiding the magic turkey, downing the two headed bear, skydiving through the honeytrap and other words to describe good times. Lol.. One teacher was holding parties with booze and weed for students.. Before letting them find out where the REAL knowledge fountain is.. *chuckle* She would have them over for parties pile them with booze and weed and do what comes natural to boys when that happens.. They were as young as 15(every 15 year olds dream.. you'd think)..The other teacher was letting a 17year have the best afternoon of his life by performing oral on him every Friday.. (Can you imagine what he would say to his mates when he is late for football practice!)

Teacher who would have parties for students

Teacher who would have parties for the 15yr olds!

Teacher who would give oral

SOOOOO long holiday..for some of you... THE rest of us are here in the office.. Doing what we do best.. ha ha ha...

What do you do if there is something that has been under you're nose the whole time and you fail to notice.. Well then you have messed up severely.. You are an egg head.. a Douche.. Rather live with the awkward moments then the WHAT IF.. Seize the moments..

This is fricken awesome.. #babykiller

has anyone heard anything about Zumaville? A town that is being built down the road from Pres Zuma's homstead? Huh.. R1 Billion rand.. someone please ask who is paying for this. Nice to build towns and so forth, (first one since 1994 that the govt has built) but fuck a duck.. I think we are being taken for a ride that is SOOO unbelievable by those that govern us. Left right and center there is bullshit.. This town echoes bull shit.. I am now peeved so i can't even comment any more.. LAME..

I hope Zumaville has a carwash

I found this extract on how to piss people off.. As sometimes I get in that mood where you look way to content for my liking.. So BECAUSE i can, i make you're day that more interesting.. With a few of these..

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.



SHOUT LOUDER #douche

22. type only in lowercase.
23. dont use any punctuation either
24. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
25. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
26. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
27. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
28. Ask people what gender they are.
29. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
30. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
31. Sing along at the opera.
32. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.



Look..Women's Day Cartoon .. #NOTcoolORisIT

33. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

 

When life hands you a six pack and a smile..

Monday..I know.. I know..

 Chaps and Chapettes.. 

In the words of the Great Master.. "whooo weeeeee" its been forever.. 

I thought I would once again, start to embellish my thoughts into a direction, into some cohesive manner that allows me to articulate thought, ideas, questions and answers.. Ha ha ha ha ha.. (like those come easily!)

What a a few months it has been without me communicating my stupid senseless ideas into your heads, thoughts of taking the man down, saluting underground protests and all above3 engaging in creating our own checks and balances for a system that has failed us all, and yet continues to run ordinance, to engage on our behalf and to plunder what isn't theirs.. but OURS.. 

I was recently watching some of the coverage of the Toulouse attack by that fricken pyscho.. The article I was reading was referring to Fox News coverage of it. Let me just start by saying, an International Newscaster, who had spelt Toulouse phonetically, as well as created this facade of religion/extremists "see they all want to kill us" notion.. It really made the newscasters look like eagle eyed fucks.. basically the newsbroadcasters failed to do some research or any sort of reference to what actually happens, and had added their owned spiced up version of events.. In my mind when you reach a certain age, you surpass the stage of absolute stupidity(well at least when sober). That stage when a normal individual is like "wait a second this is fricken stupid" but noooooo not FoxNews.. idiots.. 

Okay so  there is going to be some backlash to wars/attacks etc, but often taking it out on someone who has prob run away from the violence is not the way to go. 

Iraqi Woman Beaten To Death In California - A 32-year-old woman from Iraq who was found severely beaten next to a threatening note saying “go back to your country, you terrorist” died on Saturday. Police said the family had found a similar note earlier this month but did not report it to authorities. [huffers] I would love to find the dirty useless f*ckheaded individuals that perpetrated this crime,  WHY?Does this justify your means, and then you wonder why the West is universally hated around countries in which they have done some stupid fricken shit.. Point in case.. shooting innocent woman and children in Afghanistan, nice one soldiers.. 

Sperm Hunting Women Prowl Zimbabwe Highways – Susan Dhliwayo was stunned when she pulled her car over recently to pick up a group of male hitchhikers and they refused to get in. The reason? They feared being raped. Sensational reports of gangs of beautiful women picking up male travellers to have sex and harvest their sperm in condoms have gripped Zimbabwe in a dizzying mix of taboos, rituals and the downright bizarre. [afp] That is fricken hilarious.. SO there are women out there who just take advantage of men  and steal their seed, no man.. Imagine being without seed, "sorry babe i don't have any more, it was stolen" ha ha ha ha ha ha.. I wonder what the extraction policy with regards to that works.. I mean, would he not have to be in a state of arousal.. Or rather, dudes are keen, realise what they have done and call rape? I don't know, sounds like that one has been done, or being done..  I wonder if Snooki knows about this.. Omg.. I just realised.. maybe Snooki also partook in this.. 

I mean Snookster is pregnant, Situation is in rehab for jail.. Ha haha ha.. reality tv, the Real world it sure is, druggies and unplanneds..lol.. at Jersey Shore, its not like the true colours weren't there anyway, i mean what could we expect?harvard Law and world peace? No, cause we"the public" don't want to watch a UN conference, we want to see someone we can tune, some idiot we can use as our poster boy for idiot/douchebag/assface..;. I actually like the Situation, no offense but he is a clown, but deep down he is actually just a boy who wants to be loved.. like Gary.. 

Here in South Africa, I was reading prisoners awaiting trial have to look decent..cant really just wear those orange-shit-stained-criminal outfits to the protesting of your innocence. I don't think that it would work out in your favour, know what I mean.. Soooo.. the goverement is spending R40 million on their suits/clothes what ever it is they wear! R40mill, thats right..For a guy who might've tried to rape you, you are now paying to clothe him and his gang members(27s).. SO just some food for thought when u refuse to pic up that 50c you dropped.. 

Speaking of free money, In Brasil they are introducing free plastic surgery for the poor.So they believe that even poor people have the right to go under the knife.. I mean, what!! That's a nice idea, but wouldn't they rather use that money to put food, educate, reinvest I don't know, REAL concerns.. Look I guess looking good contributes to peoples health, lifestyle, outlook and so forth, but fuck.. really..  Botox and laser hair removal, free chemical peels and anti-cellulite treatments may at first seem shockingly frivolous in a country like Brazil — which, despite phenomenal economic growth in recent years that has lifted millions out of extreme poverty, still battles with diseases like tuberculosis.

But the philosophy behind the more than 220 clinics across Brazil that treat people like Penha and thousands of maids, receptionists, waitresses and others is simple: Beauty is a right, and the poor deserve to be ravishing, too.

Facebook Condmns Companies That Demand Facebook Logins From Employees – I have heard a lot about future employees wanting to get access to people Facebook, to learn more about them and whether they could work in the organisation.. I say FUCK that, that's bull, if I give you my login details, then i want your bank details, with codes and bank account numbers. 

Seriously!!!!!

This practice undermines the privacy expectations and the security of both the user and the user’s friends. It also potentially exposes the employer who seeks this access to unanticipated legal liability,” Facebook chief privacy officer Erin Egan writes in a Friday blog post. [wired]

Then what happens if I apply for a job at the police station, they take my details, and then log onto your profile and see that you were partaking in a drug fuelled party in a nursey school.. then boom.. you are caught.. ha ha ha.. some of u would be sooo Ffffed, lol.. But seriously, what happened to our freedom of right, the right to privacy and the right to tell people like that to go run into a door with a spike to the eye, all the while trying to walk off a cliff.. 

Who isn't stoked that Tiger Woods is back on the winning trail? Prob not his ex-wife or girlfriends, but who cares, I was bummed to see tiger not doing what he does best.. Sinking balls.. I mean, golf needs Tiger, so do the TV ratings and sponsors, so half of the world was hoping for him to gain some momentum.. I just hope he doesn't try and sleep with the Course Director or something like that immediately and at least wait until he is back ontop before going back to being his awesome, "I always hit it" self.. lol.. #TigerWoodsWinning

All Tigers doll's in the winter waiting for the TIGER

Expelled.. ha ha ha ha../

Soooo.. it has begun.. Julius Malema has made his public backing for Dept.President Kgalema Motlanthe and for Pres Zuma to step down.. (Malema who was kicked out of the ANC for disrupt/being a fuck head/etc) was a part of the celebrations that took this week for the ANC centenary and reiterated that Zuma must step down as an embarrassment to the ruling party.. I think its just funny, how Malema went from supporting him, to being kicked out, to now supporting someone else who in my mind sees a backdoor back into the party and to the presidency.. (GAWD save us if this clown gets to the "African oval office") I mean .. I could not fathom having THAT guy.. any way enough of that train, it is def wrecked.. badly.. 

The SusaBOY on the right

Remember Susan Boyle? The lady who was and I say this with love butt uglier than a rampant chimp with rabies, on Britain's Got Talent, and ended up a singing sensation, now touring the world and making amazing music..Well here is the boy version, looks like Hagrid(character from Harry Potter for all you muggles) and is prob the illegitimate child of Hagrid and a troll.. ha ha ha, but his singing was fricken mind boggling, I mean, sound emanates from him like he is a chamber choir, let alone the fact that bush pigs are more handsome.. ha ha ha.. This dude is gonna get a make-over look like a shaved bat and make CDs, he is that good.. and that unlucky.. 

 

Ahhhhh SPORT.. my fricken favourite time of the weekend after waking up with a hangover reminiscent of what Iraqi people have had for the last 8 years with US occupation, lol..

Sooo this past weekend there was a bucket load of good times, but the week before, Wales clinched the 6 six nations.. Unbeaten and rightful winners..HOW.. I dont know, i mean, every year we watch the 6nations I am amazed at how boring the rugby is.. Testament to the northern hemisphere rugby, which in most people opinion(EVERYONE) it is the most boring form of the game.. Its like watching paint dry, but your blind... that bad.. 

No 9. back and killing..

SUPERrugby and another awesome weekend of fantastic hardhitting goodness.. I got to LOVE the BULLS, I mean they haven't been their usual rampant BULLish side, then they had the defending champions... the REDs come and visit.. ha ha ha.. The Reds, fuck u guys look sooo average.. I have a answer to that too.. My mates met some of the Reds chaps at Billy The Bums on Tuesday and from the sounds of it, they had a wicked time with the team or rather some of the team members..the ones they jammed with, performed on Saturday like U9c replacements. Thus they got dispatched with ease that only the teams such as Liverpool are used too.. 

Racist douchebag on the LEFT..

Speaking of Liverpool and all things footballish.. ha ha ha.. The scousers, you racist douchebags are losing their way quicker than you count how many dolls Tiger Woods has "holed in one" if you get what i'm saying lol.. I mean you have Suarez who is Satans gift to herpes, who is kak.. I hate him, so do most folks with any sense or rationale, or personality or a hatred for racism.. Ha ha ha ha 

MAN CITY.. your time is coming, Sir Alex calls this time, squeeky bum time..basically, if you falter, you end up behind us, living the dream and waiting for that dream next season.. ALL to play for, so its not a done deal, but fuck me its getting close.. APRIL 30th.. could be the game that decides all... Imagine a basic final between the teams in the North.. its  abit of a fight with North London rivals chasing 3rd/4th place respectively.. Shit, i love the intensity.. Every game has me on edge, screaming obscenities and shouting to bloody mary about fouls and free kicks.. Oh well, thank you Stoke City, thank you.. 

Walcott, finally repaying faith..

Remember a couple of months ago when everyone was talking of the demise of Arsenal.. ha ha ha.. even the fans (some of them) were like NOPE Wenger, time to chuck, now.. Quiet huh.. RVP is showing some of the more sublime form.. Almost Messi like.,. Na.. that a little too much gunners, soon you will be assuming you could wins.. ha ha ha ha.. you can.. maybe.. lol.. Good on you gunners.. Like Spurs who were doing really well until the last 4 games, still have a chance to ruin the Chelsea party, which in my opinion would be awesome.. 

What fans were doing when The gunners started fucking out..

I dig Spurs..but will Redknapp leave? Interesting.. if he does, i can promise they won't emulate this season.. They need continuity in this crucial part of hitsory.. if Modric chucks,Parker gets injured, Spurs don't have the cover.. They don't..

UNITED..UNITED.. jamming tonight against Fulham, a 3 points is all we can afford at the moment.. WE are the defending champions, ready, to continue.. I hope we can all witness the lack of star power that has dominated news headlines the whole season, yet we are still part of the leading pack, content to use what we have..TRIED and TESTED.. 

#MUFC

City will know the lack of that in their squad.. Who has won silverware recently in their team.. ? Besides Silva.. noone.. don't even raise your hand Nasri.. okay okay, i nearly forgot about th FA cup, but i was leaning towards Premiership.. not cups.. But u know what I mean.. #GIGGSscoringsince1991

Was a man.. but now.. a pretty lady..

In some other interesting news.. So you are Ms whoever and you are doing really well, have the whole country behind you and your family friends, lots of creepy old men.. AND then.. 

6’1′ bombshell, Jenna Talackova of Vancouver was disqualified from the Donald Trump-owned Miss Universe Canada beauty pageant for “not meeting the requirements to compete despite having stated otherwise on her entry form,” according to competition officials. By which they mean she was disqualified for being born with male genitalia.  Wait what.. YES..

Talackova, 23, underwent sexual reassignment surgery in 2010 after living most of her life as a woman.She hasn’t spoken to the press about the disqualification yet – although she has vented a little on her twitter account: I’m disqualified, however I’m not giving up. I’m not going to just let them disqualify me over discrimination.Hectic.. let the woman enter MisS Universe.. if she wins THEN lets see what people have to say.. lol. 

Sitting in the Sauna..

What is the world coming to when a transgender can't compete in a beauty contest.. I mean faak.. what are they scared of? A man being prettier than a woman? No.. but it will get interesting if this goes the legality route.. Ooooooo Weeeee.. 

TAUNTED.

\Kill this week..

Relook, revisit.. The year of the #hashtag

Chaps and Chapettes,

What flavour to conjour on this day? What makes us question our paths?  I'll tell you.. THIS fricken month.. Yes.. It has this affect on everyone of us.. Makes us question if we are indeed headed down our intended path. "Is this where i want to study" "can i get another job" Should i break up now or after valentines day #DONT seriously.. do it before.. ha ha ha.. This time of the year we recognise the perfect opportunity to change our routine and embark on something different, it is the time i like to call Rephraseable basically we are rephrasing our lives.. Like imagine on new years eve, Suarez (footballer who plays for Liverpool) was prob like, "shit, i am a racist, douchebag from South America, i reckon i should change" (followed by an apology about his racist remarks towards Patrice Evra(black french footballer).. Liverpool you are  team of douchebags and the fact that you stood by him, also means you prob stand by Hitler..#justsaying

suarez(his mom is a slaag) and Evra

Sooo.. besides the world goverments trying to squeeze any freedom of speech and even thought we have by introducing yet another law aimed at harnessing human beings ability to do what ever THEY want.. Just to go off topic, i dont know if you guys have noticed, but everywhere you look there are measures being made to restrain our behaviour, from SA's own Information Bill, basically highlighting any information attained unlawfully regardless of its intent or it being beneficial to public, you go to JAIL.. OKay.. so we are screwed kewl.. then.. they have this thing called a fecking Passport.. you have to carry it when you cross imaginary lines on the ground(imaginary!!) just to gain access to a place you were prob taken from.. ha ha ha..

Google blocked out.. '

Google has joined Wikipedia, BoingBoing and a number of other popular websites in the SOPA protest – not just by ‘blacking out’ their logo, which is cute but largely ineffective, but by putting together a comprehensive and informative infographic on the SOPA bill and piracy, along with access lines for voters to contact members of Congress through.

It’s a neat middle line that doesn’t quite reach the whining indignation of the Wikipedia blackout, but is still far more active than say, Twitter – whose CEO, Dick Costello, criticized Wikipedia pretty heavily:

“that’s just silly. Closing a global business in reaction to single-issue national politics is foolish.” I just want to say to DICK, your name is DICK.. #thatsall okay prob Richard.. but i like the former..

Big brother contestants.. Dude apparently slipped in without permission

I love BIG BROTHER..or rather i did, the first one.. when it first launched in SA, even went to the launch, to wish them good luck.. lol.. Sooo over the years there has been a saturation of Big Brother, usually the UK one is the best, raunchy, rough, disgusting..basically perfect TV.. Soo now.. the Brazilan BB..(obviously was gonna be some slutty racey action) has some serious misconduct going on!

The incident “allegedly” took place over the weekend, after the Big Brother housemates had a bit of a boozy party. Daniel Echaniz, a 31 year-old male model, is said to have been fiddling with one of his other housemates, the rather pretty Monique Amin. The only problem is, Monique had had just a tad to much to drink, and was passed out. Police arrived on the scene the next day, and ordered the production company to either stop the show or remove Echaniz. Amin was also taken away, possibly for a rape test. He was kicked out of the house, and is now being investigated.Echaniz, should he be found guilty, will face six to ten years in prison... Oooooh.. can you say this male model will basically be the sexiest piece of meat in prison.. he will be the slut of cell block D.. ha ha ha ha...

Okay PEEPS.. if you haven't been to Wimpy in a long time or you just don't dig it.. THEN wake the FFFF up.. Wimpy is giving FREE BREAKFASTS ON  THE 19TH OF JAN BETWEEN, 7AM -8AM... I am going to repeat... NO i won't but its that time of the month when you know you can't afford to skip a free meal.. Don't even front.. My goal to you oaks, is too tell every ONE.. but really tell the bergies.. This is the one time they can take their whole families for family meal.. Bet you tomorrow one bergie is gonna leave a tip at one of the WImpy's def.. Seriously oaks, tell everyone.. EVERYONE.. who needs food.. Im gonna drive home during traffic screaming.. "bergie come to WImpy for somebreakfast tomrrow.. actually fuck it, sleep there tonight.. get there early.. ) I wish there was a homeless network or something,.. lol.

Remember the Titanic? When it sunk? OF course you dont bitch , you were too young.. and Leo Di Cap does not count as a history lesson.. It did as a lesson when they were in the car and it was steaming up.. I sat next to my date thinking.. "oh golly if i can just hold her hand... let alone get a car, and then blow all that steam around for her to slap the window"... now this douchebag of a captain.. NO capt Smith, thats for sure, fricken booked out before some of the passengers.. He was on alifeboat telling the coastguard, "f*ck no i'm not going back to the ship" ... well it seems besides being charged for manslaughter and other charges... oh and missing people and death.. Damning Evidence Against Shipwreck Captain Emerges As Five More Bodies Are Found – Five further bodies were found in the wreck of the Costa Concordia cruise ship on Tuesday as it emerged coast guard officials ordered the captain to jump immediately back on the vessel when they discovered that he was in a lifeboat rather than commanding the evacuation of more than 4,000 passengers and crew. [telegraph]

African ambulance

So picture this.. You get hit by a car.. An ambulance comes to pick you up and rush to the nearest hospital. You are on the way, cruising, bleeding, dying.. what ever.. Then.. you get to a toll gate and the ambulance has to stop to pay for the toll. They can't find change so they look allover the ambulance, even in the victims pocket.. They get the amount and continue to the hospital.. The victim dies.. #hectic.. okay so they didnt die, but FFFF u road company.. Cape Medical Response recently got a call to transfer a patient to Constantiaberg as an emergency. But they were stopped at the Chapman’s Peak toll first. According to Entilini Concession – the company that operates the road –  even ambulances must stop and pay the toll fee, “irrespective of whether it is an emergency.”... I would get out of the back in the pain i'm and go and stick my ........... down their throat and give them my number so they can call me and apologise.. WTF..no offense but some of the f*ckers in the world need to get hit by bus, like yesterday!!

Not being shown on TV... WTF

really.. Oh and guess what it is today? Fricken El Classico..and for some FFFFFFing reason we are unable to get it.. Its not being broadcast? are you serious? I've seen herpes broadcast for less.. Omg..

My babysister was sooo hot.. then she became 20..

Taunted.

This is my friend Han..

2012... #Boom Where do You FIT IN?

WOW... WOW.. 2011...

That year went fricken quickly.. In fact it went quicker than a teenagers budget over December! Jeez... one minute we were sitting there laughing at how cool the World Cup was and now, we are laughing at what a clown Julius was in 2011, what a douche SUarez is (racist! C U Next Tuesday), what a a whirlwind year its turned out for Obama, Osama and a kid named after any Liverpool/Man City player(unlucky poor sod)...

ha ha ha ha ha... Oh well the world moves on, if thats anything to realise is that, time stops for nonone.. so.. you may think you have relevance but i have realised you are pixel in a page with 7 billion other pixels, some have more say than others, others have no right to have any more say but have the platform to do, so they preach ideological bullshit and hate.. IF anythign, we learnt the year of the dicatator was certainly not 2011.. Except how the F is that chubby chap the King of Swaziland still wielding power? Jeez.. that oak in the smallest kingdom giving us a bad rep in the South.. I reckon i give him until April before shit hits the fan..

Speaking of shit hitting the fan.. I am glad I made it home okay from traveling this year.. 1272 people died on SA roads over Dec.. A waste of life.. jeez.. take it easy chaps.. seriously.. or join the army and die for another meaningless purpose..

I hope the festive season was spent in a jovial one, rather then in doom and gloom..

I begin my festive period witha  little visit to one of my fav cities in the world.. Amsterdam.. NOt for the reasons that you may assume, but because the city has the appeal that the Soccer City stadium tried to envision, a melting pot of cultures. Whether its dutch, or orient, or western influennced the city is a breath of all.. Besides taking in the natural scenery, canals and musuems(which are always fun, if u havent done them) but for the more experienced traveler to the city, you know where to begin and where to not waste your time... For instance, Amsterdam is littered with coffee shops, most concentrated in the center of the city, what one fails to realise is that each shop is like a mini franchised supermarket, of different levels. So imagine a Woolies, Checkers, Pick n Pay and throw in a little gas station shop as well.. Most of the coffeeshops around the center are like Checkers, quick easy, have the produckt you looking for and yo9u can get what you looking for basic.. There are some around that will raise their game to PicknPayt level where you might have better quality, lower prices(dont fall into the tourist trap, cause they catch suckers like you DAILY) and have the friendly chilled vibe you seek.. There are some, i keep them secret that are not well known, away from the bang and dash of the city center that are like the Woolworths of Coffeeshops..(The  best herb, amazing coffee, quality surroundings[they have been thought out to enhance the customers experience] and some of the best aesthetic appeal the country has to offer strolling in and out.. #1

What we learnt during winter is that, firstly boots.. stylish and some what in, with your pants portruding from the top is all the rage..IN my opinion I saw it as bleh... gay.. ha ah ha.. then again i don't conform to greasy European standards... well most times.. One thing we had to say from our last trip in the "dam, is the awesome lack of street dealers"wanna buy some charlie?" All those drug dealers have slowly being weeded out, which is awesome as I last time I sounded like a douchebag consistently telling some druggie dude from Nigeria(no offense but they usually are) to stuff off and sell his shit elsewhere.. feck..

The most unsuspecting club we happened to stroll in on Spui Straat(no 2) called Blitz....something, I wanna say Blitzbokke but NO.. lol, it looks like a old pub from the outside, on a cobbled street, with minimum lighting..It looked crap form the outside, and we were like f.. we've been had.. WE walk in pay the cover 10 euros.. (you def can't convert shit in your head... it'll mess with your head) nad wentdown this spiral staircase..As we neared the bottom all we could hear was the faint BOOM...BOOOM.. BOOM.. of the bass.. SHIT.. we have arrived.. put our coats in and went up like 8 stairs(weird I remember, they were numbered..OCD..anyway) up the stairs to this church looking,stained glass window dance floor with a bar all along the way downt he one side.,. Not the a superclub, but it was rocking from its hinges.. Good times.. I recomend it like bacon and cheese samies for a hangover.. DO IT..

Another year..another day.. what I am quickly learning is that if you are not married yet/children..don't worry.. at the rate that oaks are falling, your time will come SOON enough.. lol..

Looking back.. there is something that always comes to mind..Never have Regrets..if you believe u will regret something..then either don't DO IT(duh..) or lunge.. simple... Don't make mountains out of rabbit holes and so what if one oak ruins your day.. there are 7 billion people who didn't.. and half of those haven't eaten today..

TAUNTED